Finding Yourself: Reconnecting to Who You Truly Are

There was a time in my life when I realized — I had no idea who I really was.

I got married at 16, before I ever had the chance to figure out who Rachel was. From that point on, my world revolved around everyone else, being who I thought I was supposed to be, a wife, a mother, a caretaker.

I didn’t know how to separate what I wanted from what others needed. My identity was built on survival, keeping everyone else okay, while completely forgetting about myself in the process.

It wasn’t until years later, when I found myself a single mom with no career, raising my children on my own, that everything started to unravel. I was working four different jobs just to keep food on the table and the lights on. I was exhausted, burned out, and running purely on survival mode.

At that point, I was on every kind of government assistance imaginable. And I remember feeling so ashamed, like I had failed somehow.
But looking back, I see now: I wasn’t a failure.
I was a woman who had never been given the opportunity to get to know herself.

I had spent my entire life being what others needed, but I had never learned who I was, what I wanted, or what I even liked.

 

 The Moment I Started Asking “Who Am I?”

That moment came when I was faced with a truth I could no longer avoid, I was an addict and an alcoholic.

For years, I had been using whatever I could to push away the shame, guilt, and exhaustion, anything to give me the energy to do what I had to do just to make it through each day.

I was functioning, surviving, and from the outside, maybe even looked strong. But inside, I was completely disconnected from myself.

It wasn’t until I got sober that I realized something I had never once done, I had never actually looked at who I was.

I had no idea what I liked, what I valued, or what I believed in beyond survival. My entire life had been built around doing what I needed to do to get through, not discovering who I truly was.

Sobriety forced me to stop running from myself. It was the first time I had to sit in the silence and meet the person underneath all the coping and chaos.
And that, as painful and raw as it was, was where my journey of becoming me truly began.

That’s when I started to rebuild.
Not just my life, but my identity, my beliefs, and my relationship with myself.

What I Learned About “Finding Yourself”

Finding yourself isn’t about discovering something new, it’s about remembering what’s been buried under years of trying to be everything for everyone else.

For me, that process began with stillness, honesty, and a lot of tears.
I started journaling, walking outside, and asking myself questions I had never dared to before.

At first, I didn’t have answers. Just pain, fear, and confusion. But over time, I began to hear my own voice again, the one that had been waiting for me all along.

3 Ways to Begin Finding Yourself Again

1. Get Quiet Enough to Hear Your Own Voice

When you’ve spent years drowning in noise, other people’s needs, your own thoughts, or the chaos of addiction, silence can feel uncomfortable.
But quiet is where your truth begins to whisper.

 Try this:
Find ten minutes in your day to sit in silence or journal. Ask yourself:

• What do I need right now?

• What do I want more of in my life?

• When was the last time I felt like me?

This isn’t about fixing anything, it’s about listening.

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2. Let Go of the Guilt for Wanting More

For a long time, I felt selfish for wanting more, especially after years of struggling. But wanting more doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful. It means you’re ready to live, not just survive.

Try this:

Write down five things you truly want, not what you think you should want, but what your heart longs for.
Maybe it’s peace. Maybe it’s stability. Maybe it’s joy.
Let yourself dream again.

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3. Reconnect With Your “Why”

When I finally started rebuilding my life, I realized my purpose was rooted in helping others find balance and healing, because I knew firsthand what it felt like to live completely out of alignment and disconnected from myself.

That’s how Total Balance Massage & Coaching was born, from my desire to help others rediscover who they are beneath the chaos, fear, and survival patterns.

Try this:
Write your own “why” statement, something that reflects who you are beyond your struggles.

Example:

“I am here to create a life that honors my truth and inspires others to do the same.”

Keep it somewhere visible. Let it remind you of your strength and your purpose.

You’re Not a Failure — You Just Haven’t Met Yourself Yet

For years, I thought I was failing, as a mom, as a woman, as a human. But the truth is, I wasn’t failing.
I was fighting.
I was surviving the only way I knew how.
And eventually, I was healing.

I worked four jobs, raised kids on my own, got sober, and started over, not because I had it all figured out, but because I finally started believing I was worth the effort.

You are not broken for losing yourself.
You are brave for deciding to find yourself again.

 Journal Prompt for Reflection:

“If I stopped living for everyone else and started living for me, what would my life look like?”

 Closing Thought

You don’t have to search the world to find yourself.
You just have to stop running long enough to meet the version of you that’s been waiting all along.

If you’re ready to rediscover who you are, release the shame, and build a life that finally feels like you, I’d love to walk beside you.

 Schedule a free 30-minute clarity session and let’s begin your journey of rediscovery together.

Thank you for listening and being here, you won't regret putting the work in!

Rachel Bright